Eskimo

Well,its time for me to update you all about my life.

Certainly,those under the age of 18 are going back to school for yet another year. Whereas people like me either go to college or stay at home/working. I like to put Stay at home and working together because it's the other option other than studying. I learned about Trade Off in Econ class and we actually traded off our Leisure Time+Working Salary for going to college. The best part is we are paying for it. That further increase our loss.

Let's say I am one of those who make loss this time of the year by going to college. Reason? I simply put a higher value in education rather than the factors stated above.

I am no longer in Science stream and I am taking all four Arts Subject excluding Maths. That leaves me with Econ,Law,Business Studies and Accounts. Why from Science to Arts? Let me give you a good reply. You are a coffee drinker and you have been drinking it for 17 years in your life and one day u take a sip of Tea. You liked it but it is not available yet. When it is available finally,would you go drink Tea instead?

Many people would stick with Coffee because they are so used to it but i am used to individualism and being out of the cliche so I chose to go for Tea instead. I know that Tea is something that I enjoy drinking more despite having absolutely no problem with Coffee. Get it now? Well,figure it out and ask if you still do not understand.

College life to many would be a rebirth and you have to rise among the ranks to be Popular. Some might even forget about studying altogether and I can tell you that some of them had their eyes planted on their forehead. Saddening,isn't it?

I guess this is all that i could update for now. Class from 8-5 averagely is killing me!

The Fear You Won't Fall

What has the world today changed us into?

I refuse to believe that I would question myself about this but I think I had enough of my own mixed emotions lately.Secondary school life is over and I no longer have to put up with whatever shit that I had last time.

We are having such a short life and yet people are trying to attack each other everyday. Tactics and scam become the way of life in the world today as if those who don't follow suit becomes the weakest link. I can't stand those fakers in my life and I can't stand those who act like my friend.

I have nothing to offer afterall and I don't need anything to return. I know so many people who had their tiny hope crushed just because of others selfishness. Just because others don't get what they want,does it really make you feel better? Ask your true emotion and tell me the answer.

Envy will get us nowhere and it won't be long before you become a public enemy yourself. Bragging about what you got won't make people respect you more but it will only lead you to your own doom. What happened to humbleness in life? Just because you are born rich does not mean you will die being rich.

We got to start waking up and not walk in the shoes that other prepared for us. This life is a long journey that we are supposed to take each step by ourselves. There is no one there to take us to the final destination.

There is no need for me to act like I am alright when i am not,there is no need to hold back the tears when i feel like crying and there is no need to hide when i am ashamed.

The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it

I am moving on from this point and I no longer want to adhere to the surrounding I am in. I want to be myself and I am killing my outer ego.

Delicate

I know it is predictable but I am still gonna say that SPM is finally over.

I know you might have read this sentence over and over again in all those blog of people who are seventeen this year. Of course I am not gonna be typical and celebrate the ending of secondary education,instead I am just happy this phase of my life is over.Its funny,isn't it? How could we expect something such as learning to ever end? SPM is just a phase in our life and now we can finally move to the next phase in our life.There is no need to ask how is it like after SPM? SPM is just an exam and we are making it sound like its a big disaster/apocalypse that we need to ask people how they feel after it.

So,How do I feel after SPM?

My answer would be " I feel relieved and ready to take the next step"

I no longer want to talk about it or discuss much about it because I know i did my best for it. I promised myself to do well and I pushed myself until the last day of it. The results is gonna be evidence of my hard work and I am not gonna whine about it. Its getting pathetic that you keep whining about how you did in SPM if we all know that you did well or the other way around. The point is nobody cares about how you did,we are too busy being concerned with our own.

I registered for college and its INTI for me. I don't care about what people have to comment about it because I am the one studying in it. Just let me be the judge whether its good or not. The lecturer for law seems like a good person to me,someone who I can ask her more about being a lawyer in UK since she been one for many years there.Let this whole college issue to be over because i only want to get good college education without my parents having to pay a lot for it.

5 years of secondary education has been a wholesome package full of knowledge for me and it didn't only made me better academically but as a whole person as well. I have walked pass this stepping stone to my future and ready for more. I pledge to stick to my dream and bring justice to the court one day.

Secondary School Life is Over

I guess I will make an exception this time for the title as I am writing about the last day of my secondary school life.

Tomorrow is supposed to be our last day in school. Yes,I am in my last year in Penang Free School and I am not planning to go back for Form 6 so it is really the last day for me. I can't help to feel nostalgic when my friends mention about it for this is the school that I have yearned to enter so badly and to come out of it as another person was really a long journey.

I can't say the same for others but Free School was the school that I would look at and dream to enter when I was small. You can say that the standard has took a plunge and it is no longer as good as before but a true Frees would not agree with you.We are still proud of ourselves being the Free School boys and we still hold on to our three principle 'School for Scholars,Sportsmen and Gentlemen'.

The 5 years in the school has transformed me from a young boy with no thoughts about the future to a young man with dreams for his future. The journey was certainly a patient and stern 'teacher'. Many things have happened to me in this school. Scouts took up part of my life and taught me many new things,Prefects taught me about politics,Schoolmates taught me about friendship and teachers taught me about Dedication (This goes to only those who teach with their heart).

I counted the number of t-shirts that I got from school organisations. I actually have 21 shirts from various clubs,board and mostly from my experience as a scout. I have 6 PJ t-shirt and 4 PJ pants. I am sure most of us have that many PJ attire too. We all love wearing them.

Throughout my 5 years in school,I have met so many people and made friends with so many of them. I found my best friends,close friends and a bunch of friends who will be there for me. I also have my juniors in scouts who had somehow became my younger brothers. I also have my classmates in all the years that I am in Free School enriching my life in school everyday.

5 years just passed like that and I still remember vividly everything that happened from the first day I was in school. I was actually sick of the first day of school and almost fainted in the assembly. Since then,so many things have changed.

As I end this post,I can't help but to feel nostalgic for leaving the school.

Thank you for the great 5 years in my life,Penang Free School.




(My days at the school)

9 Crimes

Somehow at this moment I feel exhausted from my current lifestyle. I feel like its hard to start running again. 5 years of secondary school education comes down to this 2 weeks,I can really feel the stress building up on me. I want to stop running in this race if I could but this is just too hard for me.

This routine has sucked out all the fun part in my life. I feel guilty whenever I don't finish studying at least 2 chapters a day. I live in such routine and continue to struggle in it.

I must not complain because this is my future that we are talking about. I seen people posting up that they gonna disappear from everything until SPM comes. I think I should do the same for this two weeks too. Its just not wise to be wasting my time anymore and feel guilty about at the end of the day.

My laptop will be locked away and songs will only come from my mobile phone. It doesn't matter if i fall down tonight,because I know I will get back up again stronger than before. Tomorrow is a new day and it will be a better day.

Quoted from Nick Vujicic "Are you gonna finish strong?"

Yes,I will finish strong this time.

I am not gonna say its impossible to get 11 A1. I will live up to my own expectation of taking a law degree in the most famous law school in the world.

Tears in Heaven

I feel really relieved today. Its like I offloaded something heavy that I have been dragging for months already. No doubt that my stubbornness got the best of me again and made me keep on dragging it although its already over long time ago. I can finally feel my long breath again without images flashing through.

I can't say that i regretted from this experience but I have certainly learn something once again. I have learn to appreciate people in my life more. Sometimes we just tend to forget how lucky we are just to have friends around us. We take for granted and ask so much from them until one point where we lose them and we realize how valuable they were.

I have always needed the right time to let go and I just can't find any better time than now. I did enough and more than what i should have so its time to stop.

I wont take this sinking boat and point it home anymore. I am letting it sink to the bottom and be forgotten. It will go down with all the memories with it and everything that happened. I shall be rowing on my new boat looking for a new adventure again.

Who Says

Maybe its time I tell you all a little bit about my life.

Since I was small,I was not better than others. I never consider myself to be special or outstanding compared to other kids. I have always knew that I am just that typical person in this big world. I don't dream about great ambition nor great toys if that is what kids want the most.

I am not a good boy since I was small. I am rebellious and always have all the crazy ideas in my head that makes my mum explode with anger at the end of the day. Miraculously, I am still this stubborn after all the beating and scolding that I got because of that.

Being in primary school,I am not the brightest student unless u consider being one the naughtiest as a merit. My results never make my parents want to buy anything for me. Playstation Generation one was only bought for me after 5 years its out. Apparently I tried to get top 3 in my class for 5 years but to no avail at all. I only got it after my mum is so fed up of me asking.

It was a suprise that I could actually get 5As for UPSR. Don't ask me how i did it but it just happened. Even until now my mum said it was impossible that i could actually do it.Nevertheless,I got the chance to go PFS. It is special for me because my Grandfather used to study there and FYI* I never got to see my grandfather,so following his footsteps is a great honour for me.

I was terrible at school. Mixing with the wrong people and wasting my time away with playing truant. I was not good for my studies and i got 90 something in the form. Now,that result is just like saying that I am an idiot. Yeah,no difference from rubbish in the school.

I must be really lucky because usually rubbish don't find their way back after being dumped. Its was one of those turning point in your life when you ask yourself,"What the hell did I achieve after being on the earth for more than one decade?" That question made me think and start to look for a new beginning in life.

I start to take up books to read and with every book that I read,I become a better person. Those books are those self help books that you often see at bookstores. I wonder why some people don't even dare to walk near them when they are such great books.

Those books were the tools I use to crawl back to the top of my life again. Life improved after that and I am not saying that I only had good times.It was not easy to get back on the right path again. There are setbacks that make you regret so much and make you feel like giving up.I guess determination was the only thing who kept me going.

Now,I no longer need to hide my report card nor get scolding because of my results. I changed to a new person. People often ask me how I improved so much compared to last time and I would answer "You just have to look for that turning point". I am glad to be who I am right now and the achievement that I had so far.

I know that you all must be asking why i am writing all these things about my life. The reason is I want to remind myself about that time when I got a second chance to change and I will never go back there again.I want to keep going forward and be who I want myself to be.

If you don't know what ambition i have now,It's Lawyer. It may seem like nothing compared to most of the professional jobs that we have now but Law is the basic of everything in life. Think about it.

With that,I would like to go back to my books for one month and do well in the stepping stone of my life. I remember my dad telling me that SPM is one of the smallest and the most slippery stepping stone in your life. I remember telling myself how true was that sentence.

To those of you who are taking SPM this year,I hope you share the same belief as I do and continue to work hard for it.